im gettin ready to play wow for a raid that was pretty fail, but while i was waiting i was talking to shelly. she had to go out and do some shoping so i was texting her about how fail the raid was and how i cant wait to get back to cali so i can be all "shit has hit the fan i have to help a friend out" and leave the raid. well she gets back and then gets on skype and video calls me...it has been about a 2-3 weeks since we last had one. The problem is as soon as i looked at her in her eyes...the butterflies started fluttering in my tummy. i know i like her and i care and what not, and i know that it isnt truly a returned feeling, but i cant help but feel a little better looking at her.
i know she is smitten by will, and like she is to me the feeling isnt mutual.
slightly bothersome since i know she still has a major crush on him since she cant stop talking about him.
i dont know, should i just keep leading hel on and get what i want from her but continue the lonely life i know i will have, knowing that i will never be with shelly, or should i try with shelly even tho it prolly wont happen and i will end up alone anyways.
i know it sounds pig like due to the fact that hel and i just wanna have sex with each other, i do like hel, but i know nothing will spawn from it other than a random hookup from a foreign chick while i have feeling for someone who doesnt have them back for me.
man my life really is starting to sound more like a soap opera than ever.
should i just quit while im ahead and just focus on me and let things come when they should?
should i continue striving for something i will prolly never have?
should i accept that i will never have her?
should i become the pig that most males are?
should i just go back to being a hermit and only letting in the ones i feel are friends and only have friends?
i have so many questions, yet no one to ask.
i are dissapoint. yet giddy, yet slightly depressed.
BAH
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