YAY DRINKING TO FORGET AND DROWN THE PAIN WOOOOO! nothing says im an alcholic more than that....amirite
what went down:
monday uneventfull
tuesday- jonna is butt hurt that chase isnt paying attention to her and i got pretty much got dragged into cheerin her up for 3 and a half hours. jonna says she is over chase....i called bullshit...
wed- saw jonna is chase's live, asked her what is up and if she is all right (wow 3 and a half hours gone to waste), jonna starts bitching at me, said "us" was over. didnt really pay attention took it as friend ship was over and i didnt care she was the source of a lot of drama. told my buddy, he found it to be bullshit. hung in my buddys room, jonna came in i left the room waitin for her to leave. got a text from jonna saying "are we really doing this" no shit you bitched me out for no reason saying "why did you choose (leaving her name out of this) over me, how could you choose her over me, she doesnt even care about you". the last part about (leaving her name out of this) not carring about me...total bull shit, she would wait for me to take up, wait for me to go to bed, hell she didnt sleep for a week cuz she couldnt wait to talk to me next. she WAS in love with me and her actions rang clear as a bell so i didnt care what jonna said about her. jonna sent a text saying "i said us you and me. i would love to be your friend" i replied "there never was an us", once again she shot back wtih "oo alright james. i guess there was no you and (leaving her name out of this) either. you're full of shit." went to sleep
thurs- went to the cyber cafe hung out trying to forget the drama. got home hung otu in my buddys room jonna enters i leave, happens about 3 times over the course of the night. at one point i got fora smoke she enters i come back she starts talking to me, i ignore it, she leaves, its about fucking 930 i go out for a drive and i get a text saying jonna is saying shit about ..... i find a parking spot becuase im pissed off that jonna thinks she has the right to talk aobut her like that, she can say anything she wants about me i dont care but you NEVER talk about the person i care most about like that. the dud said he is trying to get her to stop, and was trying to calm the fires between me and jonna, jonna said she woudlnt appoligise for the shit she said about ..... so i said i wouldnt appoligise for anything i have said. went home...went to bed...
fri- told ..... about the shit jonna said. she thought that i was accusing her of not careing and believing what jonna said. i told her i wasnt accusing her and that i didnt beleive jonna for one second that i was tellin her because it was something i had to take care of i wanted this drama to stop, she didnt have any of that so i said fuck it and logged out of msn. few hours go by i see ..... live on stickam i entered her room, talked to her in a pm trying to sort shit out, she blamed herself saying once again it was all her fault which it wasnt. i just told her that i was sorry i came into her life and brought all this unwanted drama, and that i was sorry i was the worst thing to happen to her. if she wants to talk to me or anything she will have to talk first, i wont talk to her i have hurt her enough and i cant bare start talking to her, guilt sucks. told her that i would leave her alone and that she wont hear from me again, she started to cry, i wanted to kill myself, i left her room. told my buddy, he was pissed, took it out on jonna, his logic is that its her fault cuz she was the one to get possesive of me and said shit about .... jonna said sorry, i said sorry, .... still prolly hates me.
sat (today)- GOING TO GET FUCKED UP TO HELP FORGET ABOUT .... CUZ ALL I DO IS THNK OF HER AND MAKES ME WANT TO DIE!
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